escuerzoresucitado:

sandmandaddy69:

everythingfox:

He had to triple check

grendel-menz:

burning food is an inherited trait

cowboycunt:

wait are y’all an ocean guy, lake guy, or river guy. i am a river guy tbh

mostly-funnytwittertweets:

charlottan:

i would be the best unreliable narrator i dont know shit that goes on around me

just-an-adam:

animentality:

A man walked straight into a bar

And then came out

catchymemes:

berrytart:

berrytart:

for usamericans

which coast is better

east

west

I feel sick… What the hell

kaibascorpse:

egberts:

if Candice has a picture phone why did she never just take a photo of what phineas and ferb were doing and text it to her mom

if she did this doofenshmirtz would just be like you see perry the platypus i sold my old computer at the pawn shop but i forgot to delete all those embarrassing photos from the christmas party, which is why i’ve invented the pixel-replacinator! and then as candace is going to text her mom the photo the phone gets hit with the beam and she looks down and she’s just texted her mom a photo of doofenshmirtz in a sexy elf costume or smth. candace can never fucking win the universe bends to facilitate her psychological torment